Sweet Silence
by InuNeko245
Summary: ON HIATUS / This is inspired by one of my favorite authors, who wrote a story that I based this off of. Ciel's in a mental hospital for seeing visions of people he doesn't know. Multiple personalities and such. Rated T, rating will be changed for later chapters. Ciel's monologuing his own life, so it may be confusing.
1. Hallucinations

**HI. I've finally made an appearance again. Been busy with nothing. It's summer, you know. Summer is fun. Sometimes. Oh look. I was called stupid. YAYYYYY! Anywayyy...I just wanna...write an...insanity fic...something. So...this might end up being...gross? Not gross, M-rated. YOU KNOW. THAT SHIT. Ramble ramble. It's 2 on the morning. I'm just gonna get to it. Peace out.**

Well, today certainly wasn't going well. Happy sweet sixteen. In the psych ward at the hospital.

Great way to start the story of my life for the next...4 years? I lost track after the first 6 months, I think. Too hopped up on crazy meds. Anyway, I'm gonna start this story at the beginning. Before my life became meds, white hospital walls, and these...delusions.

"Ciel...?" The nurse dressed in white opened my door slowly, peeking around the corner to make sure I was "sane" for the moment. I just grinned up at her and giggled. She breathed a sigh of relief, and proceeded to actually enter the room. She pushed the door the rest of the way open, stepping inside and dead-bolting it behind her so I wouldn't...escape, as they say. What was there to escape from anyway?

I was sitting only dressed in a white button-up on the floor, scribbling madly on a small portion of the wall. For some reason they let me, even though the drawings mysteriously disappeared every night after I fell asleep. By the end of the next day they were always filled up again, so I didn't see why they got rid of them in the first place.

Luckily, it was morning and I had just woken up, and the walls were nice and clean and white so I had some drawing space for the day. I was working on a very rough sketch of a man with long silver hair, a top hat of some kind, and a few very pale scars decorating his body. He stood by a coffin smiling like an idiot.

He had been just one of the many subjects of my scribbles for the last 4 years, me having been admitted at this damned hospital when I was twelve. Today just happened to be my birthday. Another day too far gone to notice my parents were visiting. Of course, it's not like it mattered. I hated to see them anyway. They would always ramble on about my illness behind my back with those monsters. I called them the "Watchers" because I was never left alone. There was always someone watching me. And I know this isn't exactly the best nickname, but what else could I call them?

Well, maintaining my silence was a great way to start in any situation. No matter what they tried to get out of me, I wouldn't say a word. I only giggled and continued my endless sketching. They tried to ask me who the people I was drawing were. Ha. That's stupid. I mean, I knew their names, but almost nothing about them. Then again, the "hallucinations" were getting more vivid. They starting speaking to me at some point. Some of them would refer to me as "Young Master". Actually, just one in particular. I think it's...

Funny, I can't remember any of their names right now. It's one of those things that come in little spurts. I shook my head and focused more intensely on the drawing of the Undertaker. He had told me that was his name, I think. Like I said, can't remember much right now.

The nurse, who I had forgotten was there with me, finished making my bed and gently touched my shoulder before (harshly) reminding me that my parents were coming today. Today was a little blurred, however, and I was struggling to remember exactly who my parents were. Their names, when I was actually born, who raised me, who tried to kill me, who catered to me...the lines meshed together and I was living two lives at once.

Two lives in one body, one with every "hallucination" making sense and one that made absolutely no sense of the visions.

Let me help you out here. It's a little difficult, you see, to explain something as complex as split personalities. That's what they have it down as anyway. Split-personality disorder or something like that. I don't mind, as long as I'm kept on a good enough high that I don't know what's going on or who's speaking to me.

Right, I was going to explain. Okay, one boy is Ciel Phantomhive, the one who understands everything. The other boy is Ciel Magnum, the "insane" one. And the one I usually am. When I'm not talking to invisible people, that is.

The nurse, after having not gotten any response from me, sighed and walked to the door, unlocking the dead-bolt and leaving me to my imagination.

'I find it quite funny poor Ciel is trapped here of all places.'

"Shut up, William," I muttered.

'Very bossy today, don't you think Grell?' William chuckled.

'Oh yes, very, though I find it adorableee~!' Of course, Grell was being his normal...whatever you call it self.

"Would you all stop mocking the fact this body is trapped here? I would get free if I could, but..." I pointed at the dead-bolt. "Locked in, like the mad person they think I am."

'Well well, Young Master, you know we will be able to find you soon, and you know we all have the power to get you out.' I didn't turn my head to address Sebastian, who was very obviously standing behind me.

"Humph. Then why don't you hurry up with it already?"

The Undertaker finally showed up, having taken his time getting here for some reason I didn't need to know. I didn't even know what I was talking about anymore.

'Hee hee hee we would, but you see we're taking an awfully long time to find your exact position, you know.' The Undertaker snickered acted half as mad as I felt.

"...Is this true, Sebastian?"

'Yes, my Lord.'

The door swung open at that moment, a middle-aged man and a young woman resembling Ciel himself stepping onto the threshold. Everyone around him vanished, leaving him alone to deal with his parents...though he was still the Young Master. This was going to be difficult, he could just tell.

**I'm gonna stop this here, and then I'm gonna write another chapter like...soon...or something. Okay, I'm gonna write in like 5 minutes cause I've been up all night and writing this off and on and it's 7 in the morning and I started this 5 hours ago XD I'll see you next chapter or something. Sayonara?**

**~Bunny**


	2. Communication Problems

**Well, technical stuff figured out. Do you like it at all? I'm personally proud of it. Not getting any sleep and then writing your best fanfiction...will never understand the logic in that. THERE IS NONE. HA. Right, as I said last chapter, I'm just continuing this from like, 5 minutes ago. Just to limit the chapters. Okay okay, done with this, please enjoy this chapter. OH YEAH. FORGOT. I do not own Black Butler aka Kuroshitsuji.**

"Ciel, we're coming in now." I don't know that voice, though I think the other me has heard it before. Ciel Magnum. I figured I should just address them as I would anyone else who was polite. Not like how I address the Watchers, though. Polite, Ciel, polite.

I smiled ever so slightly. "Hello, my Lord and Lady."

There is no doubt they were obviously very shocked by this approach. I could not see the reason why, however, and I was left very confused by their reaction.

"Ciel...is that you?" the man said. Yes of course it's me, who else would it be? I know the other boy's name is also Ciel, so I figure they must be speaking to him. I smirked inwardly. Their Ciel will not be seeing them today.

"Why, of course it's me. Who else could I be?" There, they got their answer.

"You just seem...different," the woman said tentatively.

I sort of..._snapped_. I wanted to scream at them "Who _wouldn't _be different after 4 fucking years in this place?!" Of course, I kept calm. I never swore, at least not out loud. It was un-gentleman-like. Is that the word? It doesn't matter. I decided to remain calm and reply the nicest way I knew how in this situation.

"Nice to see you too..." I mumbled. So much for that.

The man seemed to brush it off and approached me warily. A nurse had entered behind them and locked the door once again. Another chance for escape foiled. I looked up at the man and managed to ask, with a small and polite smile, "Who are you?"

Talk about disappointed. The woman's face immediately fell, any hope she seemed to have replaced by despair. The man just looked at him, seemingly unfazed by the question. "I'm your father, Jerry, and this is your mother, Lily."

_That can't be right...my parents' names are Vincent and Rachel, and they both died...3 years ago?_

My broken memory wasn't exactly serving me well at the moment. These two people were now very obviously the parents of my host body, Ciel Magnum. Silly name, I say.

"But if you're my parents, why aren't you dead?" I asked, acting genuinely curious.

"What do you mean by that, Ciel?" my mother asked. I guessed I should refer to them as mother and father now...

"You died 3 years ago, before I met him..." I said slowly.

"Who's 'him'?"

"My butler, Sebastian."

The room fell silent at that, and I could feel a presence in the small of my mind, smirking at their confusion. _Sebastian, goddammit, shut up._

My father looked at me strange. Shit, I said that out loud, didn't I?

The nurse turned to whisper something to my mother, and that is when I became so unbearably overcome with rage that I actually managed to slip away from reality and into the corner of my mind where I was shoved when the other Ciel decided to come out. That Ciel took over the second I left, starting to playfully giggle already. I sighed inwardly. That boy was trouble.

_Finally got a turn, did I? _I thought bitterly to myself. Well, the other Ciel, that damn conceited one from the past. I found myself in a situation I wasn't looking forward to, exactly. I mean, meeting my parents again isn't something I like, but the looks of sheer confusion and rejection on their faces made me want to throw up, despite the drugs. Did my other stuck-up self do something to land me in even deeper trouble? Ugh.

I did my best concerned face and looked at my father. He stared back.

"What's your name?" he asked. I was appalled he had even asked that. I was his son, for god's sake!

I shook my head, indicating that I could not speak, as I hadn't been able to for a good amount of time now. My father understood and told my mom and the nurse that I was back to normal. "Normal" being this personality. I gritted my teeth. Whatever that bastard did really messed with their minds.

I guess, because I can't really hear them, they decided to go, after everything that happened here. At least they bothered to visit on my birthday. Doesn't matter though, nothing much does. My mother gently waved and led the way out, the nurse pulling up the tail and locking the door behind them.

Alone again, at least. I returned to my now touched-up sketch of the Undertaker on the wall and kept adding details until every inch of it was perfect. I backed away a little, making room for the drawing to move. It slid off the wall and onto the floor, then actually leaned up and expanded, becoming a perfect image of the Undertaker himself. He laughed and grinned at me, then disappeared. I felt just a little of my lost memory return.

For each thing from that past life drawn, a small piece of Ciel Phantomhive's memory was returned. When every last piece of the memory was returned...Ciel would take over that body and the original would be forced out.

That day...would be the end.

**Haha I had to make up names for his parents, which I find hilarious. I stole one from a friend of mine and another from Harry Potter. Original, aren't I? Anyway, had to figure out a plot. And a reason this fanfic would be titled the way it is. I GOT IT. Planned out and almost perfect, with a few bugs. Like I said, this is based off of someone else's fanfic, and I was just very tempted to write something about Ciel being insane. SO THERE. Nothing you can do. XP** **Sayonara for another little while...I just like writing. :3 **

**~Bunny**


	3. Names

**STRIPPER TOAST. Great way to start a chapter, eh? Ah, Debbie. XD Anywhore, I got stomach problems right now...so...not good. It's only noon, and I've practically been writing since...2? So, for around 10 hours. Oh god, stomach, calm your face. It's irritating. Right, need to write chapter. But need to get rid of hunger...UGH. Starting.**

I (very thankfully) spent the next few days as myself. The other Ciel, Mr. Phantomhive, had not appeared in a long while. I was starting to think something bad might have happened to him, even though he was a part of me. But, sure enough, he made an appearance one day after I drew a particularly beautiful sketch of a young blonde girl. He told me her name was Lizzy, and she was the fiancee of the poor "deceased" Ciel Phantomhive. The drawing came to life as it usually did, only this time...it didn't just smile and disappear. It would not fade.

The drawing smiled at me, as they usually do, but then it began to speak. The girl named Lizzy spoke to me, for the first time since I was 12. I had never seen her before so this was a new experience in multiple ways.

"Ciel..." she whispered. "I can't believe it's really you." Something was off about this...she sounded...whole. I mean, most of my visions just had dull, echoey voices and rarely talked. She seemed alive.

I shook my head. Ciel Phantomhive was dead. I was Ciel Magnum. She appeared to be confused.

"You're not Ciel? You look exactly like him though. Right down to the smallest detail in your eye..." She touched the small area beside my right eye gently, and I flinched. She _touched _me. That shouldn't have even been possible! Something was very wrong, very wrong indeed.

I looked in the mirror placed on the wall opposite me, studying my eyes carefully. My left was a simple, yet very deep and beautiful ocean blue, while my right was blue overlapped with a patterned marking in purple and white specks. The shape it made was known to be an omen of death, so that had set him apart before any of the visions had even happened.

Lizzy studied me with a look of gentle criticism. "...You're right, you're not him. You're far too kind." She gave a small sad smile. "Well, I suppose my time speaking with you is about up. I best return to Ciel's memories before I fade, right?" She laughed, just a little, and disappeared into thin air. I felt the familiar space being filled up, only the space filled was much larger than the other times. Lizzy must have been important.

I suddenly felt compelled to attempt something I hadn't tried since I was admitted here. Since everything started. Speaking.

"...S...Se-se..." I didn't even know why I wanted to have this word be my true first for 4 years. "Se-Sebas...tian."

We all know the phrase "easier said than done." Well, in this case, I didn't know which was harder.

"Sebastian."

The name sounded perfect on his tongue, though he himself had never said it. It was always the other one, dammit. I figured it was about time I got a voice of my own. It might confuse others at first, but I thought I could deal with it.

'What's this? You're defying me?' Him. DAMN IT.

'I'm not defying you, whatever gave you that idea?' I smirked.

He crossed his arms. We were in a small space of my mind we shared. And we looked exactly the same. Only one was modern without an eyepatch and one was dressed in a much fancier outfit, all colored green. He also possessed an eyepatch, which rested over his right eye.

'You must think you're sooo much better than me, being the host and all.'

'I have no idea what you're talking about, idiot.'

'You know perfectly well what I'm talking about.'

'Sorry, I'm not a self-centered arrogant little brat.' I sneered.

I didn't think that would faze him. But to my amazement, he turned around and made a discomforted little sound. Got him then.

"Well, I think I'll be taking my leave. Just expect to see me a lot more from now on, alright?" He smirked and vanished, as he usually does. I came back to reality and discovered I was sitting amongst crayon after crayon, all of which were colored black and gray. I wonder why.

**IT'S BETTER THAN NOTHING. Sorry. Didn't have much else to say. And I've been working on this spread out over days and stuff, so I just didn't understand and sorry for being late. Not like I have a deadline, but still. I'll try to work on a new chapter soon. Sayonara.**

**~Bunny**


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